Separation and divorce come with exceptional stress. Still, a wife becoming involved with a boyfriend before finalizing the case adds another level of emotion and possibly more conflict to the pending proceedings.
The spouses are considered married until the decree has been declared final by the court. “At-fault” states, a few of these exist within the country, would deem the relationship, if sexual in nature, as adultery and grounds could be filed by the husband based on that finding.
There could also be a claim of “marital misconduct,” which can carry grounds including but not limited to adultery but then emotional distress or cruelty and other choices depending on the state.
Even if the new partnership is not sexual, the knowledge that a soon-to-be-ex was so soon involved with someone else could leave a man believing that there was infidelity during the course of the marriage.
That can result in his prolonging the case with arguments and inquisitions for a case that might have otherwise been amicable.
Can a wife date before a divorce is final?
There are no laws that indicate a woman shouldn’t become involved with a guy while her divorce is pending. The suggestion, however, is that both parties avoid dating while they are still considered to be married.
While in most states, the behavior will likely not substantially impact how the case plays out, it will affect the length of the proceedings and the expense.
However, suppose the current partnership is found to be the reason for the breakdown of the marriage regardless of whether it’s a “no-fault” state. In that case, it can still play a part when it comes to the division of property and support for the husband if that will be a consideration.
Any time there is a dating scenario or a sexual relationship, the injured party will file fault, which will lead to a drawn-out case and premium cost to discern if this specific situation was the cause of the marital breakdown.
If the couple had an affair and you learned this subsequently filing for the divorce, the claim will bear more weight with the court. The judge will consider this information when it comes time to pass a ruling on property separation and spousal support favoring the victim in the circumstance.
Why a woman should avoid dating before her divorce
Women with the notion of bringing male partners into the picture when there’s an impending divorce on the horizon generally do so due to loneliness and a heightened vulnerability from the loss they’re experiencing.
The problem is a female dating a guy before there is a divorce decree declared can not only jeopardize the judge’s ruling, but it can lead to a lengthy proceeding and a costly process for which she will likely be responsible.
A soon-to-be ex-husband will become emotionally vested in every detail of the case where it might have otherwise been a relatively easy and amicable settlement. Some reasons a wife should reconsider before taking on a new mate include:
Declaration from the judge can take a long time
In many situations, a man takes much longer to deal with the idea of a divorce than a lady does. Adding on top of that, the concept of the woman taking on another partner before the divorce case, it can lead to heightened emotions.
That generally means that the two mates will likely do battle in the courtroom.
Where there could have been a speedy meeting with mediators, there will undoubtedly be lawyers and months or longer of proceedings with a great expense that could end up being the female’s responsibility.
Usually, when a partner makes their former spouse feel more miserable than they already did, the man will likely find a way to ensure the female’s time in court is not pleasant.
Adultery could be considered as a grounds for the separation
Some states still stand behind “at-fault” divorces, with adultery being one of the grounds considered for the dissolution. In many states, a couple is deemed to be married until the judge’s ruling has finalized the divorce decree.
Suppose there were community monies used for any purposes while seeing another person. In that case, for instance, when entertaining, as a gift, vacation, or borrowing, it’s considered a misuse of these funds.
That means a husband would be subject to receiving a more significant portion of the marital assets when the final outcome is ruled.
- Read also: How to tell if a married man is using you
Further, suppose the former mate can prove that there was a relationship before there was a filing for the divorce, and it was the cause for the filing. There can be an adjustment made to property separation and the amount provided for spousal support if that is a consideration in the case.
The expense for the divorce could grow exponentially
Usually, couples do what they can to come to terms, make arrangements, and agree on all conditions before going to court for the separation and divorce.
In doing that, it’s possible to go through the process without attorneys, instead, using mediation and getting a ruling within a very brief period of time.
Whenever a case becomes complex, or it seems as though the process will become prolonged, there needs to be attorney involvement, which means a great deal more expensive. The more complicated it becomes, the more the attorney expects with their fees.
When a lady’s previous guy decides he’s not happy with the fact that a new mate is taking his place, he can ensure that the case is prolonged significantly, especially if he knows that his former wife is budget-conscious and can’t really afford to go through a drawn-out battle.
- Keep reading: What does divorce do to a man?
He can further cause dismay by petitioning the court if there are children involved to ensure that a current love has no interaction with the kids or be in their presence at any time. If mom has custody, that can mean the end of her present partnership.
Healing can be much more challenging
Separation and divorce are synonymous with death for many people, and they go through the varied stages of grief in the same way. It’s essential to experience each of these stages in order to fully heal from the loss before dating anyone.
Attempting to date before there is complete healing could prevent total emotional well-being from returning and disallow moving into a healthy relationship.
A woman should avoid finding a boyfriend before the divorce has a chance to go through so she can heal fully. After gaining a sense of emotional wellness, she will be better prepared to seek out a healthy partnership keeping old baggage from interfering once everything has been finalized.
The boyfriend can develop stress and anxiety
Anyone that a lady is dating during a divorce can experience the stress, pressure, upset, and anger that their partner goes through. It’s impossible to give another person 100% of yourself with something so significant happening in your life.
That’s genuinely unfair to put that on a guy. The man didn’t sign up to be your support system as you go through your divorce and, unfortunately, will likely be a rebound that will possibly be discarded when it’s all finished, and that’s pretty selfish. Before taking a boyfriend, a woman needs to consider what could be the repercussions for that individual during the divorce.
One particular issue is if the gentleman is brought into court for deposition and then subjected to possible stalking by an emotional ex-husband to see if the boyfriend is suitable material for being around children, if there are any. It could potentially become a dangerous situation.
When dealing with grief from a separation and divorce, the idea is to reach out to close friends or family or even a private counselor to help guide you through the process.
An expert allows you to speak freely without any fear of judgment or personal opinions. When a woman decides to get a boyfriend or see another man while going through the divorce as a sort of support, it can only create trouble for everyone personally involved, especially if there are children in the family.
Suppose a female chooses to develop friendships that might ultimately (way after the divorce is over) lead into something more. In that case, that’s different—dating while in the middle of separation and divorce is unwise.
Final thought
Divorce and separation are like a loss. A woman often will jump into the arms of another man in an attempt to soothe her grief and deal with the loneliness she’s experiencing.
Unfortunately, that’s not only unhealthy for the female; it can only lead to a long-drawn-out divorce proceeding and emotional upheaval for everyone else involved.
When seeking support while going through the stages of grief after this type of loss, reach out to a professional counselor. These experts guide women and men through the losses but also work with partners as they go through the divorce, keeping dating out of the picture.
