Men and women will turn an eye when someone attractive passes. Beauty is something we all admire. A healthy couple will often share a discussion about physical attributes when someone in their presence turns heads.
Problems begin to arise when a spouse views good-looking people online. A partner will start to question why that husband looks at other females online creating insecurity for that spouse.
Is the mate seeking these photos out for his pleasure, or are they simply popping up on his feed? Does he hide that he’s looking at other people, or is he open with the behavior? Let’s dive into the topic and see what it could all mean when men look at other females online.
What does it mean when a husband looks at other women?
Often a spouse will immediately jump to the assumption that a husband is “emotionally cheating” when noticing that your spouse looks at other females online.
There are, though, several variables to consider before coming to that conclusion. One of these is the commitment you share and whether this man has ever dishonored the sanctity in the past.
Granted, there is always a first time. Still, each individual in a partnership is worthy of the benefit of the doubt. Looking at other females online could be innocent admiration with an ultimate determination that none compare to the loveliness of his mate.
If you have something to substantiate your insecurity otherwise, consider how the two of you have worked through significant problems in your marriage previously.
Broaching this conversation needs to be handled free of emotion or reaction so each person can express their needs vulnerably and openly with the express desire of resolving the issue.
Steps to take after discovering that behavior
Men often naturally look at other women without an intention behind their admiration. So, their significant other can take offense with the glance, in many cases becoming uncomfortable bordering on anger.
That’s especially true if these are cheesy porn sites or younger, firmer females or close friends the man is seeking pictures of online. You need to keep in mind if your mate has always remained true to your commitment and whether there’s any attempt to reach these people directly.
If your relationship is in a good place and this is done with your knowledge, follow some of these steps to cope with your discomfort in the situation.
Acknowledge the facts
The basis behind the discomfort when a mate is checking out other females online is sheer insecurity. If your partner has given you no reason for this emotion, it’s genuinely not worth your energy.
- Related: Finding someone on dating sites
If you take the five seconds to think about the ten seconds your husband took to take that look, you’ll realize that he has no intention of sweeping this woman off her feet and fulfilling what was likely a fleeting fantasy if he even had time to undress her with his eyes.
No one finds jealousy attractive
A certain attraction comes with a sense of self-confidence and a level of self-esteem that kind of goes out the window when you display jealousy over a stranger.
If you feel worthy within yourself, no one can take that away from you, not your mate and not a random person in a photo. When you begin to compare your attributes with other people, you diminish your value.
That’s not something for which your partner can take the blame. That’s all self-imposed. If you see him scrolling and suddenly stop on someone cute, remember to whom he says, “I love you.”
Trust trumps fear
It can be intimidating and reactive to approach a conversation concerning the sanctity of your relationship and what you find uncomfortable with your mate. The important thing is to remain calm and not become emotional with your tone.
In essence, if there’s trust between you, it shouldn’t matter if your partner checks out females online. Still, when you become uncomfortable, he should be approachable in a conversation about the issue and willing to curtail the habit because it bothers you. Even more, if he hides secret accounts on Facebook, it’s better to let you know about them.
Cash in on the sexual energy
Suppose your mate is experiencing fantasies that he might not know how to share with you but daydreams about with females that he looks at online. The two of you need to talk this out because his needs might not be entirely met, which is a workable issue.
Speak to your husband about the fact that you’re concerned that maybe he has some sexual issues that need addressing and that you want to explore those issues to ensure that each of you is fully satisfied. Sex is among the primary components of a healthy relationship.
It leads to optimum closeness and vulnerability, learning about each other, and establishing the ultimate bond. Without sexual compatibility, a partnership can suffer from one mate potentially going outside to find what they need.
Time for concern
If you notice that your husband is becoming more defensive about his looking at other females online and starting to hide his habit, there might be more to the behavior than you had initially thought.
When a mate is merely looking at other females online to admire attractiveness or appreciate the beauty, that’s one thing, especially if they’re sharing that with you.
But when it becomes something they do privately, something they don’t want to show you or care to discuss, that’s different and can be indicative of an emotional affair or a “cyber affair.”
These involve more than looking at other females online on dating sites but include speaking with women; not just talking but speaking intimately or with sexual content. Basically discussing those fantasies in detail with the women instead of exploring them with you. Let’s look at some warning signs you’re dealing with an online affair.
Signs your husband might be having an online affair
When you begin to think about your husband looking at other girls online, you must remember that insecurity leads to jealousy. First, you’ll want to figure out why there’s insecurity in the relationship.
Has there been previous behavior to lead to doubt with your husband being faithful? That doesn’t necessarily mean there won’t be a first time for acting inappropriately.
Still, it does mean it’s worth communicating instead of jumping to the conclusion that these instances of online looking at other females could be construed as cheating, especially if viewing turns to talk.
An online affair or speaking with another person in an intimate or sexually explicit nature online deems a sort of cheating via social or dating sites, chatting/texting/messenger, Whatsapp, or even with email.
If your husband’s interest in females online is becoming extensive causing you to become suspicious of his motives, check out these signs of a potential cyber affair before you open the line of communication:
Distance grows more every day
A solid, healthy relationship involves two people who work together each day to nurture and care for each other, it’s a conscious effort. When one neglects their role, the partnership suffers, and distance begins to grow between the two which can lead to divorce.
A man who is engaging with other females online with intimate intentions cares less about his marital responsibilities. If you notice a lack where there was once a consistent, tight connection that coincides with his attention online, it could be an indication of inappropriate behavior.
You might also notice changes in sexual intimacy, less communication, and disinterest in spending time together.
An attitude with someone carefree
Changes in attitude can be a significant sign that your partner is engaging with other people on an intimate level. Your spouse can’t be with these people in real-time, which could lead to bouts of moodiness or directing criticism towards you.
Your mate might want to spend more time online interacting with other females through a secret Tinder account or Facebook messages, in doing so, he neglects household responsibilities or even goes so far as to ignore work projects.
Some of this can be related to erratic sleep patterns since there’s a desire to be online later or earlier to avoid displeasure or confrontation from you.
Hiding in plain sight
A husband checking other women’s photos on social media and hookup apps, plus speaking inappropriately with them will do everything to keep the behavior secret. Where you might have at one point shared accounts for social sites or email, he’ll likely create individual access with new passwords.
Plus, your mate will express a desire to be left in private when using a device, even denying you permission to use the device where you might have once done so freely. You could notice the phone or computer shuts down when you come into the room, or the history is kept clear.
What to do if you suspect an online affair
Suppose you have a growing suspicion of an online affair due to your husband keeping swiping photos of other females online. In that case, an open line of communication needs to be established without emotion or an initial reaction that can result in his becoming angry or defensive.
It would help if you remained calm so both of you could speak vulnerably. Regardless of the needs that your spouse might feel were neglected, there should be no fault or blame accepted on your part for the path he chose to take.
When needs are not being met, conversations need to happen in a healthy, sound relationship. No one should go outside to find what they’re looking for.
In that same breath, now that it’s happened, both individuals have to examine the issues and determine how to proceed so that everyone has a satisfying partnership. Each person did play a role in the deterioration in some way.
It takes two to make a relationship successful, and both contribute to letting it fall away. Trust will be challenging to recoup with some couples requiring a third party to guide them on the right path.
A professional can help get the conversation started sometimes and lead you in directions you might not have thought of without help.
People as a whole will stop in their tracks to check out someone attractive. After all, we’re all drawn to beauty. So, there’s a fine line in how we carry that interaction that determines our mate’s reaction.
Some people in a healthy, sound relationship can discuss the natural beauty of others by expressing what a gorgeous creature they just experienced.
Others need to be more discreet by taking a look and walking on in silence with their partner pretending they didn’t see but stewing a little bit. But there are still more who have knock-down-drag-outs when their partner even glances in the direction of another person.
That’s genuinely a shame since they either have a severe issue with insecurity or trust in their partner. In either case, the relationship isn’t very healthy and likely won’t last long.
There needs to be a sense of confidence with both individuals feeling a strong sense of self-worth so the other person can see that value.
For those who have a reason to doubt their mate, whether there have been previous infidelities or other excuses for broken trust, these issues obviously have not reached a point of closure.
That means you need continued communication, with likely the help of a third-party expert since there hasn’t been a breakthrough between the two of you alone.
Your husband needs to understand that looking at other girls on social media or other apps makes you uncomfortable and is not helping you rebuild the trust you’ve lost.
Suppose he’s unwilling to stop the behavior or chooses to resist professional help. In that case, you should go to the counselor on your own and consider moving forward by yourself for your greatest good.
When there’s a blatant lack of respect, as evident in this type of situation, self-respect trumps trying to make a go of a bad situation.