In many cases, female colleagues working with spouses pose a minor threat, with these being platonic friendships. Wives have a tendency to react out of what could be a sense of insecurity. Depending on the length of the marriage, that should be something that’s calmed by the fact that there’s a deep commitment between the two of you.
Still, workplace affairs are a common occurrence, and most people are aware of this. Husbands and wives, who tend to work closely with someone, especially for long hours, can get their wires crossed and become attracted to their work-spouse, inadvertently resulting in a mistake.
That doesn’t diminish the feelings they have for their significant other. However, suppose a partner finds out about what’s been happening behind the scenes. In that case, it does give cause for a conversation, perhaps separation, depending on the strength of the marital relationship.
Why is the spouse jealous of the workplace colleague?
There can be many reasons why a significant other would become jealous of a coworker. Still, the husband will generally give major indications that are either misinterpreted or an indication that there’s misbehavior. Let’s look at some things that would cause a wife to be jealous.
The man begins to see the work friend after work hours
A mate might become suspicious that an inappropriate relationship is blooming when a partner begins seeing a coworker after work-spouse after the work hours have ended.
The significant other might be unaware that there’s a massive job the two are attempting to complete before the deadline requiring a working dinner, or the boss issued a mandatory after-hours meeting leaving little reason for concern.
If it becomes a habit and the entertainment begins to include seeing a movie or grabbing a coffee, there could be a reason to discuss the situation and how it makes you feel.
Text messages appear on the mate’s phone
You might take it as a warning sign if your mate is beginning to use the mobile much more often after dinner or keeping it private away from you. It is possible that the mobile is a secondary work phone or that your partner is texting with his colleague after hours.
If you have the incident to read this and they’re more flirtatious than work-related, it’s cause for a confrontation.
And the two shall never meet
You might have an interest in meeting this work-spouse, particularly if the time spent together is beginning to make you feel uncomfortable. It could calm your fears and relieve the stress you feel about the time they spend together.
When a husband will take every effort to ensure that the two of you are set up to meet, agreeing wholeheartedly to introduce you, you can feel vindicated that they are indeed platonic and nothing more than mere friends.
But suppose there is any hesitation or avoidance in allowing an introduction, or he feels uncomfortable in the two of you seeing each other. In that case, that is a sign there could be a problem since most men will try to keep someone he’s involved with away from his mate.
Comparisons are a source of frustration
No one enjoys being compared to other people. It can be demeaning and diminish self-confidence and self-esteem, especially when the comparisons are not in your favor. That’s especially the case if the other person might be someone in an inappropriate relationship with your husband.
Suppose there start to be snide remarks about the individual’s abilities like perhaps an affinity for working out or a solid work ethic. In that case, he could be considering who might be the better option for his lifestyle. It might also show that the mate is not entirely satisfied in his marital partnership.
Maybe you’re not meeting all of his needs, or perhaps he’s not getting sufficient attention. Something is most certainly missing if there’s a need to involve another person in your partner’s life.
Of course, the dialogue needs to happen, so your mate understands that the comparisons are making you feel bad, and you need to understand what’s happening. This will begin a discussion and maybe allow the problems to be sorted out.
Small gestures for his coworker
When it’s Christmas, and the secret Santa gets a colleague’s name to buy a gift, that’s understandable. But when a man starts to bring small gestures to the office for a work friend, a platonic mate might be becoming much more than that, especially when you rarely receive any gestures.
When you notice little gifts being bought and taken to work regularly, it’s time to speak to the man in your life about why he feels the need to do such a thing for a work buddy.
Regardless of the reasons, it’s okay to be upset, even angry, at the situation. That’s particularly if the funds are coming from a mutual account.
Providing another woman with any sort of gift is crossing the line of what’s appropriate and what’s not. If it’s not communicated, it could continue to escalate into what would be an affair if it hasn’t at this point.
How can you stop being jealous of the office colleague?
Your mate has made no indication that he is having an affair. You know in your heart that this man would never do such a thing since you have a tight, solid bond. It’s wise to put away the feelings of jealousy which are a sign of insecurity, and if nothing else. There is every reason to be secure in your relationship. But how do you just stop these feelings? Let’s read.
Stopping might not be possible
Some jealousy will be a natural part of having a significant other, especially when you love someone so much. There will always be that person that seems to be a threat to your security.
It can be the office colleague that feels a need to flirt or even work that takes your spouse away on business trips. A little jealousy is expected.
What’s vital is that the line of communication is open, and you discuss your concerns and fears outlining boundaries in order to protect a fragile heart and a partnership that you hold dear.
Perhaps keeping the flirtatious work buddy as merely an acquaintance would be one of the healthiest things for the two of you.
The underlying cause
If there is a constant issue with jealousy for one of the mates in a partnership, it’s critical to learn what the root of the problem is. Are there needs that should be fulfilled that are being missed?. Or does the partner have an insecurity due to not having enough time with their spouse?
There could potentially be a trust issue that needs immediate attention to determine why that is and how it developed. Again, communication is imperative in this situation to work towards a mutual and satisfying resolution.
Make sure to be healthfully attached
When there is adequate, quality time together as a couple and each person feels loved and has sufficient affection, that’s the pathway to establishing a solid bond with each other.
There is an automatic concern when a threat comes into the mix, whether it’s a coworker or an outside influence. This is healthy jealousy. The intention is not to bring harm but to relay a problem that needs fixing.
Trust is critical
When a husband ensures the atmosphere for the partnership is based on trust, it almost serves as a guard acting against the emotion of jealousy.
Each mate in the relationship needs to hold up their end of the trust, which involves honesty, faithfulness, and having a sense of complete commitment to the union.
When a husband can be trusted, there’s no concern where he is when he’s away or how he’s spending his time because a spouse believes him when he explains. There is no lying when you’re a trustworthy individual, nor are there affairs.
Watch the jealousy
If the jealousy is unwarranted, it can become an abuse, and that’s not healthy, nor is it normal to feel this way in any given situation. The behavior of jealousy happens in reaction to a believed genuine threat.
Still, if there is no cause for the response or if it is accompanied by unreasonable expectations or irrational anger or accusations with no basis, it can become a pattern that repeats, and that’s toxic; something that needs the help of a counselor or a partner needs to walk away from.
Final thought
Jealousy is a nonissue for most couples who have established a partnership based on trust, honesty, and faithfulness. There is security on both sides that nothing can threaten their commitment.
That’s not saying that now and again, the green monster won’t rear its ugly head because we all have our moments, and that’s natural. The important thing is that it does not take over but that we allow a conversation to eliminate those fears and doubts.
