How can you react when you find out your boyfriend or even a spouse is seeing someone else? First things first, you have to be sure of yourself before jumping to a conclusion.
In some cases, partners presume one thing only to find it was not at all what they thought but rather something entirely innocent.
It’s no indication you’re absolutely wrong, just to elicit an air of caution until there’s a degree of certainty. You also don’t want a partner to use you as a fool, essentially “having his cake and eating it too.” He will need to be accountable for his behavior if it’s found to be true.
When you have irrefutable proof, keeping a cool head as you approach the situation is vital. If that means waiting until you’ve been able to process what’s happening and collect your thoughts so you can confront the guy with minimal chance for an emotional or irrational outburst, then you should do that.
He could very well be in love with this person, and that will be something you will need to accept, so you might as well do so with dignity and class.
What to do when he is dating another girl?
Some guys will date casually with one person and then start seeing someone else simultaneously, not believing there’s a problem with that. It might sound a bit harsh, but legitimately, if there has never been a discussion on exclusivity, casually dating can mean seeing a few different people.
There can possibly be one person seen perhaps with a degree of more regularity but not necessarily. However, if you are in an exclusive relationship and this gentleman understands that there should be no other dating partners joining the mix.
If there are, that deems cheating, albeit sometimes not intentional. There can be numerous scenarios; perhaps they met inadvertently, hit it off, and now the man recognizes how compatible they are and how minimal the two of you genuinely have in common.
Fate works in mysterious ways, but usually, everyone comes out for the better when all is done and said. That doesn’t help a shattered heart, but what will help you to navigate towards that healthy end? Let’s look at different ways to react when he sees someone else.
Crying is good for a sad heart
You want to avoid showing emotion when confronting your partner. It’s more appropriate to show him a calm, collected personality that can handle what he has to say. Becoming irrational with bouts of anger, shouting, and crying won’t change that he’s moving on.
You will need to grieve, and it will be necessary to cry until you don’t need to anymore. It’s sad to be left by someone you love. It will bring relief to cry, releasing your emotions instead of keeping these internalized and telling yourself you’re strong enough to bear this or fine.
Healing is different for each person, but recognizing that feeling the emotions is necessary is a priority during the healing phase. You won’t otherwise be able to move on peacefully and healthfully.
Go to your support system
While you can’t be irrational or too emotional with your boyfriend, you can speak with the people you consider a part of your support system in any fashion you like.
These individuals see you in every state, whether emotional or not, and do so without judgment or possible repercussions.
If you don’t have anyone you can count as a support system living near you, consider reaching out for individual counseling. The professional has access to many support groups where people are experiencing the exact same things you’re enduring.
In these settings, you can meet new people, possibly make acquaintances or become friends as time goes on.
Avoid devaluing or diminishing your confidence
The first thing many people do when someone leaves them is to self-blame, suggest that they’re not good enough, or are not “worthy” of this sort of gentleman.
These are all self-defeating thought processes, none of which are true but are damaging because you believe these notions.
The idea is that your ex was not of a high level of character. Were he, he would have displayed the respect you deserve by sitting down with you to properly end the relationship before pursuing another one.
There would have been explanations why things between you were not working, releasing you of the fault, and allowing you to walk away with your value intact.
Now it will be necessary for you to focus on reminding yourself of the qualities that define your worth and how these are to be loved. It will be this person’s loss not to have the benefit of knowing more about all you have to offer.
No contact is essential once the conversation is over
Once you have the “closing” conversation, swear to no contact with this ex of any sort. That will mean you must block the mobile number and delete it, unfriend him from all social networks, delete email, and remove all signs of his presence with devices and technology.
Regarding seeing him in person, it’s wise to consider the mutual friends you share. If these individuals are not capable of being friends without taking sides or weighing in on the subject, let them know you will need to cut ties with them as well.
You run the risk of not only seeing him, but you won’t be able to heal with their constant judgments, details coming from them on his life, or continued discussions on “memories.”
Instead, make new acquaintances or reach out to friends you had before the boyfriend came along.
You might have lost touch due to being caught up in a partnership and a busy life, but many come back as though time hasn’t passed. With these friends, there’ll be no chance of running into the ex.
Also, find new places to frequent instead of the establishments you went to as a couple. You never know if the guy will appear in one of the locations. It will be fun to visit new areas and try new things, and it will help with the healing process.
- Keep reading: How to know when a married man is using you?
Forgiveness is a gift for yourself
One of the best reactions, which will take a little bit of time, is to forgive him. That’s not for his benefit. Forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself. It allows you to heal and move forward on a healthy path with no resentment or ill feelings because you closed the chapter and came to terms with the ending.
You can be the bigger person and recognize that this man is ignorant of the fact that he walked away from something that will probably prove to be a painful loss.
There is no reason to hold a grudge because you have the freedom to find a healthier relationship with someone who will shower you with love and respect.
Holding onto anger can only impair you negatively. The offense doesn’t bother him. The ex essentially got what he wanted and has no regrets . . . yet.
Find love for yourself
Before entering into another partnership, find your inner love. Make sure that you know your self-worth and have established a sense of confidence. You don’t want to go with another person on the rebound of this relationship.
The best thing when you come from a situation like this is to fall in love with yourself over time, develop a lifestyle that makes you happy and then bring someone in that can add some sparkle.
You won’t need anyone because you’ll be fulfilling yourself. Still, when you least expect it, someone will notice the glow you emit and want to share in your love of life.
Before accepting a new partnership, make sure you develop a career that excites you. Also, take the time to pursue interests or hobbies you’ve long avoided because these are outside of your comfortability.
Enjoy your friends and family that might have been neglected while you were tied to a partner. Then, if you want to add a new layer with someone healthy for you, do it slowly, take your time, and savor getting to know him.
- Read next: When he never takes me out in public
When a man chooses someone else over you, you must try to take the higher road, be the bigger person, not for the guy’s sake, but for your greatest good.
Attempting to decipher the reasons, point fingers at each other, or seek revenge on the guy or his new partner will only hurt you more, and it serves no purpose in the long run.
In the grand scheme, it falls to you to establish your self-worth and fine-tune your confidence so you can fulfill a life that suits you happily and successfully.
The vibe that you present to the world draws people to you, family, close friends, and new mates. These people around you will add to the fulfillment you achieve, but ultimately you’re responsible for your joy.