Of course, the digital landscape has made it possible not only for people to do business together worldwide. But it’s also made it possible for people to come together and expand the dating pool globally with dating sites offering international opportunities.
It’s a new and exciting time with the age of technology, allowing us to be able to meet, get to know, and become friends with a vast range of people. Plus you can learn about their country and cultures where otherwise there wouldn’t have been that opportunity.
And since dating apps are currently the mainstream for finding love, it’s very possible that can happen with someone from another country.
There are precautions people in every country need to be mindful of since not everyone who uses dating apps is legitimate, and that’s what we will talk about in this article; red flags to watch for when dating internationally.
Falling in love with a foreigner
When messaging back and forth with someone on a dating app, possibly video chatting, maybe even talking on the mobile, it’s reasonable to assume that you could develop strong feelings.
You might even believe that you’re falling in love with this person. But that would take more interaction, particularly meeting them in real-time. It’s recommended that everyone proceed with an air of caution on any platform, whether a potential match is local to you or halfway around the world.
Unfortunately, many scammers are flanking the varied sites with different ploys they like to use in an effort to get money, gifts, even citizenship.
Speaking solely as a representative of this particular country, some users of the international online dating sites will find themselves developing feelings with people from other countries and invite them to come so they can meet.
I don’t know specific statistics or that this happens often. But there are occasions when individuals will come and romance their match with the goal of obtaining a visa, and then once they accomplish this, they disappear.
There are also instances when aged users are targeted by scammers who message them, establish a loving relationship and then suddenly disappear only to come back with a horrid story of a loss and need for money to help them. They then proceed to take the individual for all the money they have.
It is safe to say this is not the norm with all the wonderful people you meet on dating platforms by far. Of course, you will meet more good people than you will the bad, hopefully. But the goal with this piece is to present the red flags for your safety, not offer the good points.
Red flags to watch for when loving a person from a different country
The suggestion is that international dating scammers have the capacity to recognize people who are needy, naive, and lonely, and they will take advantage of these individuals.
Becoming familiar with the dating “red flags” will help keep you safe from not only a broken heart but from emptying your life savings.
An online “predator” does minimal talking but pays very close attention to what you have to say since this person is essentially “assessing you.” The idea is to play on your heartstrings.
You’ll then begin to develop feelings, at which point the individual will find a way to explain their devastation, an exceptional loss, making themself a victim. So you feel terrible. All the while, you’ll be receiving messages telling you how fantastic you are and that the two of you are meant to be.
These do not constitute the rule on international dating sites nor make up the population of international daters. Many successful relationships turn into weddings among the community.
Knowing the red flags to weed out these few bad apples can help people find the good ones much more easily. Let’s look at these.
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The scammers show little integrity and minimal interest
When swiping through possible matches, you will find an array of bios. Some will be completed thoroughly with expressions of what they prefer in a match and dislike, while others will have a sexual slant leaning towards a more casual hook up than a long-term commitment.
Then some are coy and want to use a play on words with you not being able to garner any information from the feedback, like “want to find my partner in crime” and the ever-popular and very common “I tend to work hard and play hard.”
These are cheesy lines that can portray no genuine interest in filling out a legitimate profile or finding a good person. That means the potential for a scam.
Conversely, a lack of positivity or a blase attitude reminiscent of “not looking for any sort of relationship” actually attracts users and scammers to know that this sort of bitter negativity works.
If someone doesn’t finish their profile, instead telling you to ask any question they’re wide open or indicating they’ll work on their bio later, don’t respond.
Pronounces their undying love far too soon
You’ll know when someone expresses their love to you too soon, or hopefully, you will, that it’s not reasonable. For one thing, messaging and chatting can only bring you so far.
It’s imperative to have the real-time component to see how you interact in person and get a feel for the genuine personality that goes along with the words.
Sometimes, a dating scammer will request that the messaging move to a more private platform through email, instant message, or private text to indicate their falling in love with you.
You will begin to receive complimentary messages and flirts, along with notations on how love bloomed the moment the person saw your dating profile. In between these over-the-top gestures, there will be requests for private information.
At the end of the discussion, there will be attempts to play on your sympathy as a way to control your emotions and attack your finances.
There’s an indirect request for money
Financial status should not come up in any way when messaging on a dating app or even when meeting in real-time. That’s not really something that should come up until you get closer to becoming committed.
And a partner should not want to know this information until they know you much better. If you have a match who is incredibly interested in this information from the get, you need to run away.
Another sign to look for is when a match reveals their financial situation because this is typically an effort to attempt to get you to do the same
The idea is to find out how “well off” monetarily you are so they can determine how much to request from you. After asking, the person will tell you how much your kindness will make them love you.
Their request, however, won’t be direct. It will actually appear as though you’re offering. Generally, there’s a tragedy or horrific event that they’re unprepared for.
With your empathy, you find it necessary to do something, and the only thing you can think of to help is to offer money—the individual expresses how this shows them the depth of your commitment and love.
Attempting to meet up is generally not a possibility
With these sorts of scammers looking for financial gain, meeting up is not in the cards. Usually, experts recommend that users meet up within two weeks of matching with someone to avoid the potential for overthinking the situation. Plus, there’s plenty of time to know what you can about the other individual.
After weeks of communication, usually, each person is anxious to make arrangements to have the first meeting. It’s a bit more challenging when it’s an international setup, so the arrangements will be a bit more complex and take more time, but the discussion should be occurring by that time.
Those matches that avoid the topic are lying about their location and what’s on their profile, or they’re fake. Some of these people will indicate that it will require a substantial amount for them to be able to meet in your area.
Those creating a con won’t initiate a conversation in a meeting, nor will they invite you to their location. In fact, some of these people will disappear if you even suggest the notion of coming to their location.
- Read next: Advice for getting married in your 40’s
International dating is not something anyone should be afraid of. It’s awesome to meet people from all over the world. It’s no secret there are bad people everywhere we go in life; that’s just part of all of our reality. But that doesn’t have to ruin all of our experiences.
As long as you use caution, pay attention, and keep private things personal until you really know someone, you should be good. If someone claims to be having a rough time, tell them it sounds like not the best time for them to be dating.
Perhaps they should reach out to their government for support, and maybe you’ll see them around when they get back on their feet.