When someone is hiding something from another person, especially if it’s a partner in a relationship, that equates to lying or deception, depending on how you perceive it.
We could say this because it’s technically withholding information that might in some way either hurt that person or the partnership if the individual were to find out. Instead of being blatant and bold in sharing to attempt to work through the issues, problems are covered up – or are they?
Without knowing it, people give themselves away. No one can control gestures, facial expressions, how the body moves when carrying on the conversation – overall body language. It merely takes a keen eye and an understanding of what the different movements might mean for a significant other to tell something’s up.
Let’s look at body language a little closer to see some of these deceptive moves. Then, find out what some of these people might be hiding.
What does body language say about you and what you’re hiding
Most people are of the mindset that “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” That can translate to withholding information or, to say the least, hiding things from perhaps a partner, colleague etc…
The problem with hiding or withholding, it can be construed as deceptive. When one person in a partnership believes they’re being deceived, it can adversely affect trust. So, it can be challenging to discern whether issues are being covered over or problems are arising that you’re not being made aware of.
The only thing people have when interacting with another person is attempting to interpret behavior. That happens especially with someone you’re romantically involved with.
You have a better chance to do so because you can recognize what are normal habits from those that are odd. If you notice some changes in the way that your boyfriend or girlfriend talks, that could mean, they’re hiding things from you.
According to experts in body language, the idea is to establish what is a “baseline” for the individual. From that standpoint, anything that goes outside those perimeters is a sign of an issue. That doesn’t always automatically mean you should jump to the conclusion of deception or lying. So, don’t just say a husband lies about friendships, work, or even hiding money because of his body language at 100%.
The person could be struggling with nerves, dealing with anxiousness, or having extreme bouts of stress. These instances can bring moments of broken eye contact, not being able to sit or stand still, and the use of “fillers” in speech like “uh” or “like.” While the baseline behavior is affected, there are extenuating circumstances.
The suggestion for knowing the difference is in timing. I will quote here, “truthful people gesture right before they speak. Whereas someone who is lying will gesture right after beginning their speech.” – end of quote from Ms. Traci Brown, author of “How To Detect Lies, Fraud And Identity Theft.
Interpreting Body Language | What Does It Say
Most people are relatively in tune with their loved one’s normal habits or, as expert body language professionals classify it, baseline behavior. Any time unorthodox actions disrupt this baseline, it alerts a partner that something is wrong.
The thing to remember is that not all unusual behavior is due to someone hiding something, withholding information, or worse, lying and being deceptive. Sometimes a significant other can be experiencing a rough patch at work, creating extreme stress. Maybe there’s some anxiety over a family situation. Or perhaps it’s a nervous reaction to life circumstances in general.
Opening a line of communication to see if any of these things could be the culprit would be an excellent first step in attempting to interpret the behavior. If someone knows you’re onto them hiding something from you, they’ll usually come clean with the issue instead of blatantly lying to you about other girls’ messages on Facebook etc…
Let’s look at a few instances of body language that step outside normal habits’ perimeters to see what it could mean.
Eyes and lips twitch under involuntary facial movements or expressions
The suggestion is that people experiencing bouts of stress will allow genuine emotion to flash on their faces in what’s described as a “microexpression”. That’s because they happen within less than a second.
An indication of “shady” intention would include pursing the lips, mouth, and eyes that twitch and rapid blinking in excess. That would appear abnormal – like maybe 100 in a minute.
When someone gives a smile at the most inopportune time, they’re likely being caught in a lie. Or perhaps a smile that you can tell is “disingenuous” can be another indication of deception.
Touching is a sign of self-soothing under involuntary hand gestures
When circumstances become uncomfortable, the indication is that adults will attempt to self-soothe. In doing so, many will stroke their eyes, nose, mouth, or ears in an effort to relieve worry or a sense of stress. Hence, you can use these hints to see if your boyfriend uses secret social accounts. But always, try to find out more details about his Facebook, Instagram, and other accounts.
According to a body language expert (Ms. Patti Wood, author of SNAP/Making The Most From First Impressions Body Language And Charisma), these motions allow the body chemistry to change and act reminiscent of a “prescription” to soothe and calm the body.
All people use different motions for soothing in the same way that a baby grabs onto a toy or a blanket for comfort to sleep. Among the most common soothing techniques that adults will engage in include the following:
- Crossing the legs
- Cracking knuckles
- Yawning incessantly
- Stroking hair
- Finger tapping
- Or rocking
Sometimes, when a person is hiding something, you can recognize this by their need to scratch themself. Nerve endings can adversely be affected by stress, in turn, creating the feeling of “itchiness.”
The indication is people have more nerve endings in their mouth, eyes, nose, and ears. All that causes the individual to reach first for these areas when exceptionally stressed.
Some people will sit on their hands or hide them under the table in an effort to keep them still when they’re being deceptive. But once the hands move, you got ’em.
Feet that want to move – under involuntary foot movement
A primary indication of your spouse, for example, hiding something or perhaps being sneaky or deceitful, is feet that fidget. In reality, people have less control with their feet than other parts of the body.
Most often, when someone is put “on the spot,” the feet will either be tapping or twirling/twisting, with the legs generally bouncing. That makes it look as though the body is rocking. The words coming from their mouth are utterly different from the feelings they’re carrying inside.
The outlandish behavior showcases how far apart the truth is from what’s being iterated.
Should we trust body language as the sole source of “Evidence”?
Humans are complicated beings. What’s true for one person is rarely true for another. The problem with trusting that body language can be used as the sole source of “evidence” to determine if a guy is hiding something is that there can be so many variables at play.
If your loved one is having work challenges creating extreme bouts of stress, you might not necessarily be privy to that information depending on how much you discuss work projects.
That stress and pressure can result in unusual behavior patterns that are not necessarily a revelation of hiding information, details, properties etc… or deception. However, with your limited knowledge of your spouse’s work stress, your perception is something is being hidden.
When it comes to a partner, you will recognize everyday habits and identify behavior that is out of the ordinary. But the science of body language isn’t necessarily always foolproof.
It’s essential to look at the entire picture instead of the simple clues to see what might be happening in the grand scheme. If the baseline behavior is erratic and everything as far as life circumstances with work, family, and health is okay, then you need to have a discussion about what you’re finding as odd.
Sometimes opening up to a significant other if you believe there’s something they’re not telling you or perhaps they might be hiding the truth from you is enough for them to come clean.
In many cases, the simple reason for keeping things quiet is to avoid hurting the other person or causing harm to the partnership unwarrantedly. Instead of attempting to spare feelings, it would do everyone much better if everyone, instead, kept everything on an open and honest level.
Then no one would need to play detective in attempting to interpret someone’s body language.
If you only rely on your partner’s body language to see if they lie or not, that won’t work all the time. That’s the truth that many people neglect. It doesn’t matter if you have a long list of things to look for or not. It’s not a real science that applies to everybody.
Open, vulnerable, honest communication is key to a healthy, thriving, successful partnership. I know that likely sounds like a broken record at this point. But how can you lose with that mindset? If you play bold, blunt, and forthright, there’s no need for game play or detective work on any level with any partner.
Each person will know precisely where they stand in the relationship. The individual will know what the other person is enduring in their life, think about, feel, and their emotions, and nothing will be hidden away.
No one will feel a need to protect the other from hurt because nothing will be able to reach that level since you’ll always be on the same page. Why do we have to read each other’s bodies to find out what’s happening? Talk to each other.